Feb 6, 2012

I’ll Just Say It

I hadn’t planned on writing a post today, but I’ve got something on my mind that I have to get out there. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a while and I actually wrote a post a few months ago about it, but never published it. It sounded too negative and I try to stay upbeat, so I deleted it.

Today a straw broke this camel’s back. I have to say something. And this is probably the best place to vent because since I switched over here, I have very few people that are reading. But that’s okay. It’s got to be said. (Don’t expect it to be eloquent or beautifully written. I’m pretty upset.)

Today I was reading my Facebook timeline and a ‘friend’ put as her status update:

“…when will this parasite be outta me?”

She was talking about how nauseas her pregnancy is making her.

I’m sure she thinks she was being cute and funny, but I was 110% offended by the comment. I immediately deleted her. Because, honestly, I find it extremely difficult to be ‘friends’ with someone who can be so negative and unappreciative about the wonderful gift that motherhood is. I also find it difficult to be ‘friends’ with someone who is completely insensitive to other people out there.

I know I am not the only person who has struggled with infertility. I am very blessed that Heavenly Father felt that I should have two children. But I fought hard to get them here. And I always wanted more. I know there are other people on that girl’s friend list who haven’t been as blessed as me, who are fighting and struggling daily with the fact that they can’t have children. Not to mention her friends who haven’t had the opportunity to be married and start their families the way they dreamed they’d be able to. Or people like my cousin’s daughter who carried her baby to term, only to deliver a silent baby. I’m sure they’d LOVE to deal with the daily struggles of morning sickness and nausea. I’m sure they’d give ANYTHING to be uncomfortable, feel fat and swollen, and have to pee every 30 minutes.

I’ve had Facebook friends complain about their pregnancies. Lots of them. And I’ve dealt with it. Most of them are still on my friend list. But I think the thing that was most offensive was that this girl called her unborn child a “parasite.”

Really?

This child is a child of God.

A precious baby.

A gift.

I’m sorry she doesn’t feel well. I completely understand.

But really?

Parasite?

We live in a world that is too Politically Correct. People can’t say anything anymore without someone else calling foul. Lawsuits are filed. People are fired. Kids kicked out of school. I try to be patient. I try to understand. I try to see things from other people’s point of view. And I think, for the most part, I’m pretty forgiving. I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions. Having different views or opinions is the way life should be. It keeps things interesting. Without differences life would be too unbalanced. We’d walk around in a world that leans too far one way. We couldn’t stand up straight.

And for that reason, I didn’t comment on her status and tell her that she was out of line. I could have said it in a nice, unoffensive way. And maybe I should have. Was that cowardly of me? Perhaps. She’s young (she’s my former visiting teacher) and she probably hasn’t figured out how precious life … and the ability to bear life … is. That, hopefully, will come to her as she grows and matures.

But until then, I choose not to “listen” to her rants anymore. I choose to remove that particular negativity out of my life. And I resolve (again) to try to be more sensitive in what I say publically. Because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.

I’d rather help lift people up, rather than tear them down.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You go, girl! With you 110%!

Connie said...

Some women think they're being funny when describing their pregnancies. They're not. I'm with you.

My oldest son and his darling wife are going through all kinds of procedures just to get pregnant. It doesn't look promising. Yesterday, my son spoke at the funeral of his best friend's 15 month old baby. It was hard on everyone.

This "friend" of yours doesn't know what true suffering is.

Yvonne said...

THAT IS HORRIBLE. I can't imagine anyone feeling that way.

I have never dealt with infertility issues, but I have dealt with extreme nausea--two months in the hospital with dehydration with my last pregnancy and I would go through that pregnancy again in a heartbeat. Carrying a baby is such an incredible blessing. I am sorry your former friend doesn't get it.

I agree with connie--she doesn't know what suffering is, at all.